Michael Snow
The Legend of Michael Snow This wiki is dedicated to the preservation and as a monument to success that is the legend of Michael Snow. A drunken, racist, sexist, possibly daily lawbreaking Scotsman that prowls the internet as Internet Joker he is known to be called. Michael Snow is known to have created the first town-size orgy and to be the Guinness World Record for most faps per second. He is proclaimed in the southern areas of Africa as "King Fappamon" alongside his mexican brother Carlos "Shaftamon" Diaz who in turn created the world's biggest porn network in the Brazillian area. Birth The creation of a human being is balanced between life and death during birth. The chances of being brought into this world depend on your birthplace. If you're in Africa, you'll probably be burnt to death. Michael Snow was born in Scotland. Unlike any other child, Michael was keen on getting out and exploring the world out of the vagina. He couldn't wait any longer, so he brought himself together and punched his way out of the vagina. Childhood After killing his mother in mid-punch. Michael was transported to the peaks of Fap-Tu Gud-Porn where he was raised by Fap-Fu monks in the temple of Shaco. He learned quickly the methods of Fap-Fu by his teacher, Grandmaster Jax. Teenage years With Snow's trusty time travelling kilt. Snow started to bring peace and stability to the world with his skill in Fap-Fu and fluency in at least 1 language. Snow travelled throughout the land solving problems such as helping King Arthur take the sword out the rock(because he was really really weak) and saving the president from getting shot by diving in front of the bullet only to have it reflect off his dong and strike Lincoln in the head, 40 years later. Snow also helped stop world hunger for a year but after his molecular cloning device was sabotaged by followers of Edge. World hunger continued on destroying civilisations and killing starving children. Snow then went on to fight in the second world war as a rebel in the French Resistance, sabotaging german equipment and assassinating like 67 generals because his body guards didn't turn round when the strangling was going on. He also managed to help 10% of the american army storm the beaches of Normandy by putting up his bubble shield he stole from the Halo franchise and cross the beaches safer and faster than planned resulting in a german blitzkrieg being cancelled due to such speed of an invasion by sea. After the 2nd war finished. Snow went on to aid the hippies in creating a material of weed known as Shaftabong which had the same medicinal effects of every good medicine combined and still as damn good to smoke as dat marajeewana. Sadly Edge's followers went on to steal and sell it to the government and completely screw up Snow's Nobel prize...again. Snow then created the internet using a phone and some shitty Macbook he discovered in the year 2067 before the Nucleur Fallout of 2070. Unfortunately his high school years combined with the poison of the internet caused his mind to degrade and turn. He began to turn insane and paranoid to all he called friends. This led to his multiple faceoffs with Edge and beating him all but one occasion where his allies left him to single handedly fight off the horde of his followers and their brainless attitudes. Snow had to make a tactical retreat to Pornhub to rest and recuperate his fight for he shall meet with him again in time to finish off the final chapter of Snow vs Edge. The Crusade of the Internet With time came conquest and with bitches came lube. Snow started out as a YouTubian in the times of 2010 and aspired to become the main Scottish commentator using only a laptop, a HD PVR and a shit ton of voicing. After many years of collaberations and gazing at YouTubers as they mastered the art of online media. Snow met his ally in battle, Dartvoider through a Belgian commentator of Battlefield. Dartvoider became his trusty sidekick as they fought through the stages of YouTube such as the Graphics Community and the Partnership conquests. After time they both left this to join onto Twitter and reach new green pastures of lulz. Snow eventually went on to enter a new circle of friends where twitter was his stage. Snow began to acquint and expand throughout the networks until he came across an enemy of a shark-friend known as Edge. Edge was a renowned YouTuber amongs the under 16s demographic and sought to make semi-good videos and earn money to wire to his arabian bankers to research new kiddy trapping methods. He soon in routine times, fought with Edge through the medium of photoshopped images and witty one liners in pressure to break the pubic bearded one. Eventually Edge rallied his forces in number and caused Snow to be broken off from his allies, forcing him to fight one to a dozen. Of course Snow managed to break 3 or 4 of them but the numbers were too dense like their minds and caused Snow to have to rally at Pornhub so he me fap out a new plan. Present Day Snow now spends his days stalking Twitter and the other internet hotspots for a chance to stir up dramas and create madness. Little is known why due to his split-mindset on what is right and what is true. Snow has no affiliation with any faction or group. Snow's Mind Over time, Snow became more obsessed with the Joker and his mind purely because whilst horrificly comedic, he came across to be. His words made alot of sense to him and began to copy those thoughts and apply those principles to himself. Heath Ledger's acting of the Joker in The Dark Knight and the the comic book titled "The Killing Joke" most inspired him because every joke carries a message in a shocking way. "See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!" To most, it's just riddles, crypticism and jokes. To Snow, it's a message in every punchline. Snow's actions It's rumored that Snow isn't even his last name and that it's a cover to protect him against online threats. Little is known about his past in terms of real life but he tends be open about it to an extent where it may benefit him only. Snow also tends to stay indoors and survive off sweets, rum and hot ladies. Category:Browse